Shaun Thomas, Founder of The Surrogacy Father, Discussing His Unique Approach to International Surrogacy Consulting
Shaun Thomas and his family of five
It’s no secret that surrogacy is growing.
In the United States, there are estimated to be over 300 surrogacy agencies (1). However, there is an increasing trend for intended parents (IPs) to pursue surrogacy in countries like Mexico and Colombia. Between 2020 and 2022, the number of agencies in Mexico doubled to about 30 (2), and over the last 8 years, agencies in Colombia have expanded from Bogota to cities across the country, including Medellin, Cali and Cartagena (3).
With this plethora of options, it can be overwhelming to choose a destination and agency. Also, these agencies are in competition with each other for IPs, and so it can be challenging to navigate through their business models to know what is right for your journey.
Enter The Surrogacy Father.
The Surrogacy Father was founded by Shaun Thomas, a gay dad of three children through surrogacy in Colombia with his partner, Paul. Their story was recently featured in The Independent.
Out for a park stroll with the family
Shaun started The Surrogacy Father because he experienced first hand the challenges of navigating an international surrogacy journey. His mission is to provide IPs with independent consulting, impartial advice, and emotional support on their international surrogacy journey.
I had the pleasure of chatting with Shaun about his background and passion for helping IPs, and I got to learn about how The Surrogacy Father offers a refreshingly unbiased perspective in the increasingly complex international surrogacy landscape.
How The Surrogacy Father is Unique
Currently, The Surrogacy Father is Shaun Thomas, in that he is a one man band navigating journeys with each and every client. He truly loves the work, and he gets great satisfaction and joy from helping each and every IP grow their family. However, it’s not just this personalized approach that makes The Surrogacy Father unique. What is truly unique is the fact that Shaun has no attachments, agreements, or employment with any clinic, lawyer, or surrogacy agency, anywhere in the world.
This means that Shaun can help each IP navigate the journey that is right for them, with no pressure or sales pitch. IPs are given the space and freedom to choose their right path. Shaun has clients worldwide who are single, coupled, queer, or straight. From the free introductory session to the birth of their child, Shaun provides completely independent advice to help intended parents feel ‘informed, supported, and empowered.’ His inclusive concierge support is grounded in lived experience and professional insight, and includes access to in-depth masterclasses, the acclaimed 12-Part Essential Surrogacy Guide, and five regional companion guides covering every major surrogacy destination.
Shaun provides a range of support options to meet every IPs needs, and he happily responds to emails and text messages at all times of the day and night for concierge level clients. This is the most popular type of support The Surrogacy Father offers, and it provides unlimited contact with Shaun until you have your baby in your arms back home.
Shaun and his son
During his own surrogacy journey, Shaun experienced some of the pitfalls of talking with clinics and agencies online or at conferences, where he was given a glossy brochure and only partial information about what the journey would be like. He also found that current parents were being reimbursed by clinics and agencies for referring IPs as new clients. This has become increasingly popular through the numerous Facebook groups for international surrogacy, and it leaves IPs feeling like it’s hard to trust anyone.
The complete independence of Shaun and The Surrogacy Father allows him to start each journey consultation from a place of honesty, information, and trust, making it truly unique for IPs contemplating an international journey.
What The Surrogacy Father Offers IPs
Shaun’s background in healthcare as a clinical pharmacist allows him to bring scientific, ethical, and detail-oriented rigor and empathy to The Surrogacy Father.
Shaun understands that everyone comes to surrogacy from a unique place. Some have suffered through years of medical treatments and infertility, while others are optimistic and excited. No matter where IPs come from, Shaun meets them where they are at, and he works very hard to help calibrate and manage expectations for an international surrogacy journey.
IPs often come to Shaun with preconceptions on timing, cost, and legal regulations of a country for surrogacy.
With an evidence-based approach, Shaun helps IPs understand what a surrogacy journey will look like in a given country. Shaun leverages medical and legal contacts for expertise around the globe, providing IPs with realistic and fact-based information for what to expect from a journey in a given geography.
There are many hurdles that IPs have to overcome before embarking on an international journey, including accepting a lack of control, navigating language barriers, and understanding shifting legal frameworks. Shaun describes an international journey as ‘destabilizing,’ and he aims to provide support to smooth out bumps along the surrogacy road.
A cute moment between brothers
Success Stories
The Surrogacy Father has celebrated success with complex cases involving multiple parental citizenships and jurisdictions as well as navigating LGBTQ-unfriendly geographies. However, one story stands out as particularly memorable for Shaun.
The IP was a single gay man in Europe. He had limited financial resources and no idea where to start. In addition to this, he had already faced discrimination and almost given up his dream of becoming a father.
Shaun worked with him for over a year preparing for the journey. Together, they developed a budget and Shaun facilitated connections with providers who could help navigate the process. The two grew close during this time. The father called Shaun almost immediately after the birth of his son, and this is a moment that Shaun says he will never forget.
It’s journeys like this that Shaun thrives on, and he has passion for ‘turning those almost impossible moments in a family photo that someone thought they would never be able to achieve.’
Joy at the park
Ethical Journeys and Red Flags
Surrogacy is a complicated process, and, unfortunately, there are bad actors in the surrogacy industry.
The Surrogacy Father prides itself on providing ethical guidance to all its IPs. Shaun says, ‘Ethics isn’t a luxury. It’s what protects everyone’s involvement.’
Shaun refers to these bad actors as ‘corporate machines,’ who are leaning into the ‘business’ of surrogacy and forcing IPs into rushed decisions in order to turn bigger profits.
The Surrogacy Father wants to help IPs avoid these situations and keep them out of these ‘corporate machines.’ While Shaun will work with an IP in any country they want to pursue surrogacy in, he will share the facts, advantages, and disadvantages of any destination. Ultimately, it is up to them where they want to embark on their surrogacy journey, but Shaun wants them to be properly informed. Also, he will be honest about how detailed or limited his support could be based on the country they choose.
Shaun shares the elements that he believes makes a surrogacy journey ethical and should be considered:
Surrogates should not be forced to travel internationally, and they should receive proper medical and emotional support pre- and post-birth.
All parties should have unmitigated access to information and consent at each stage of the journey.
IPs should be able to have direct contact with the surrogate.
Professionals (medical, legal, etc.) should be transparent and not transactional.
Shaun also states some red flags to identify ‘corporate machines:’
Clinics that don’t share full medical reports or embryo quality information.
Lawyers that overpromise on the legality of the destination country or parental rights.
Clinics, agencies, or lawyers that require large upfront fees.
Even with this ethical framework and criteria to avoid, problems can still arise. Parents can be stuck after the birth, struggling to get the necessary documentation to get their child back to their home country. The Surrogacy Father provides support during these challenging times, but Shaun emphasizes that setting up a journey with accurate information and realistic expectations at the beginning helps manage a lot of these issues.
Navigating the Changing Surrogacy Landscape
Working in a rapidly changing industry like international surrogacy requires Shaun to maintain his knowledge and information about numerous countries.
In order to do this, Shaun leverages a global network of experts in medical and legal areas. Most critically, Shaun does not rely on information from social media. Shaun focuses on trusted and verified resources of genuine expertise, and he shares as much of this information as possible for free on his website.
Shaun also welcomes questions to help him to continue learning and evolving.
IPs can reach out to him via The Surrogacy Father website, email (thesurrogacyfather@gmail.com), Instagram, Linked In, TikTok and Facebook with any question.
He will work to answer any questions, offer a free initial consultation, or embark on a journey with IPs to help them navigate an ethical international surrogacy.
Surrogacy can be overwhelming and full of ethical, emotional, and logistical challenges. Having a truly independent mentor and partner in The Surrogacy Father is a unique opportunity to make the journey less daunting and more enjoyable for IPs all over the world.
